Much Too Much

Today I have, by any reasonable standards, very little to do and even less to achieve.

Thus far I've listened to Desert Island Discs, not done the first little thing I should have done and eaten two bags of Maltesers with a cup of tea.

And written this.

I'm now telling myself that after the BREAKING NEWS from Iran I'll have a shower and get off my arse.

I'm banking on using the 11.30 - 3.00 'kid's locked in school' window to get out, do the one 'outside' thing and get the fuck back. The rest can be done from here.

Amusingly, I've just been emailed by a 62 year old who'd like to go to Machu Picchu.

I can hardly get out the front door.

I'll keep you posted...

C.S.iPhone Mon Ami!

Ok, so holy-fuckin' shit this is awesome dude. Seriously awesome.

(NB. You've got to let the stupid ad play and then click on 'Remapping The Universe' on the right...)

Mr Pogue at the New York Times hints that this guy is going to be involved with future iPhone-tastic multi-touch Apple craziness.

I am well-psyched.

Yes. Indeed I am.

Well done everyone.

Half A Century High

'Shoot Out The Lights' by Richard & Linda Thompson was released 25 years ago.

It's nothing short of a masterpiece and I urge you to order it forthwith.

Here's the link to Scabazon (a union-busting bargain at £5.97). Or why not borrow it from a friend...

That is all.

Gordon Bennett

Well, clearly this was always going to be an election budget.

And not just centred on the Labour leadership run.

It's a snap general election in the autumn.

He took 2p off income tax...

Honestly, Autumn.

It will be.

Seriously.

Serious.

Defo.

Yep.

'Lectric LP Shortly

In the spirit of posts that do nothing but point at other things:


Released at the end of May. Details, as always, can be found here.

Adbra Cadabra

Why don't we get these types of ads here?

Stabra Cadabra

After your brief stop at the Harbour, why not pop over here.

Well worth it.

Sabra Cadabra

So, just in case you didn't know, the Heaven & Hell tour started last night in Vancouver (Canada always seems to host warm-up tours for the US) and I'm looking forward to seeing them as they pass through London sometime in the summer.

And again, just in case you haven't being following this closely, Heaven & Hell is the touring name for what is essentially the Mark 2 line-up of Black Sabbath.

After Ozzy departed in 1979 they made the albums 'Heaven & Hell' and 'Mob Rules' with Rainbow's Ronnie James Dio. They were a return to form after what were generally considered a couple of lack-lustre late seventies albums with Ozzy after the fucking brilliant 'Sabotage' in 1976.

Although the line-up erupted in personal feuding ('Dio' means 'God') and the excellent Bill Ward was bouncing in and out on drums, the albums marked the last true high-point of a ground-breaking band and set the tone for a certain sound most famously echoed in Iron Maiden's galloping riffs.

And talking of high-points, which bitter Ozzy fan do you reckon was responsible for not cropping the bottom of this photo:


Anyhow, Dio re-joined for an album in 1991 and I met Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler outside the stage door at Manchester Apollo on that tour. I also got into the dressing room and met drummer Vinnie Appice and Ronnie himself. Which was great. And he is tiny but very friendly.

So there we go - it's going to be great to hear the Dio-era songs live again (they've got a compilation album out with three new tracks here and Ronnie's personal assistant's MySpace page is here).

Lest we forget however that nothing beats the 1969-1979 Sabbath, although I think 2005 was the last time I'll see that line-up live.

Bill's website is here and I reckon you'll be able to find Ozzy somewhere.

Cheers boys...


---UPDATE---UPDATE---UPDATE---

Pictures of the first gig are popping up here. I know you just can't wait to see them...

Two Soups

The prolonged suicide of the Liberal Democrats continues apace.

Sitting here watching Menzies in Harrogate is painful - a bit like watching some old bloke who's wife has just died attending a stand-up comedy class.

This dire speech may have sounded great in the back of the Ford Focus on the way North but his delivery is nothing short of bloody awful. He's easily upstaged by the sign language guy.

Is calling for Blair to go and calling Cameron the new Blair the best he can do? Exactly how many sixth-Formers did that take to write? An 'Axis of conflict' phrase was about as interesting as it got. And that's not very interesting.

And he could hardly raise applause from his own conference floor - the little pauses where his bit of paper told him there'd be a laugh were instead filled by awkward silences.

The thing is - it's not his age that's really the problem, it's the fact that he acts it. So I'm going to start a campaign to get a new Lib Dem leader elected before the next General Election - and my money is on this guy:


He's older than Menzies but can hold an audience like an old pro and only needs one hand gesture to translate his opinions.

Ronnie James Dio for Lib Dem leader. All those in favour?

Man-Flu Over The Cuckoos Nest

For those of you concerned by my terrible battle with an almost fatal head cold over the past couple of days, I'm glad to report that I'm feeling a lot better this morning.

Slept until 10 and had my first shower since Thursday.

And with Ming The Merciful's conference speech in half an hour, 'Allo 'Allo on this afternoon and some leftover curry in the fridge, it's going to be a great day...

Thanks for all your letters of support over this very difficult time but I'm now requesting some privacy so I can come to terms with the long-term repercussions of the last two days.

Serialisation inquiries should go direct to my agent.

Fist Past The Post

Saw this on Barack Obama's site the other day and was interested in the pretty choreographed 'bending the arc' gestures.

Check it out:



Just long enough for a photo, not long enough to rock the apple-cart, an attempt at wooing the left and consolidating some Afro-American support away from the Clintons?

Kind of crude, but can't imagine any of our lot trying it.

Yet.

Dawkin TV Blues

So contrary to my hitherto firmly held convictions, there is a God - and he's a spiteful son of a bitch, not to mention a fucking gymnastic enthusiast to boot.

There's been days when I've chosen to sit and watch back to back seventies detective shows instead of seeing old friends, but for two days when I'm genuinely house-bound there's been just less than fuck-all worth watching on the television - Rising Damp on ITV3 and Beverley Hills Cops III on TMF being the only morsels he could bring himself to throw me.

And just to prove that this isn't a secular coincidence the Freeview box is stuttering, the DVD player is busted and the broadband is playing up.

Clearly in the scheme of things it may not seem much, but as I sit here up to my red raw nose in tissues, full of a cocktail of Lemsip, Beechams, something called Aspo and just a wee bit of booze, I feel like someone's out to get me.

And I was Catholic long enough to know that nothing riles Our Lord more than asking him for frivolous things like good television of an afternoon.

Expenses Habit

Wiped out with a nasty cold yesterday - all day in bed, head feeling like a football.

Not so much better this morning but at least there'll be a Rockford Files on, please God.

Seriously, if there is an interventionist God I'd like it to make sure there's a Rockford Files or a Columbo on this afternoon. And not the fucking 80's tele-movie Columbo, but the real good 70's ones. (Well, the late 90's ones aren't too bad, but if I've got the attention of some sort of God I reckon I might as well aim high).

You know what though, not one of the really generic Rockford's either - finishes one job, turns down new job, doesn't get paid from old job, doesn't understand why he's beaten up by two henchmen, takes new job because he's got no money and he's 'involved now anyway', unwittingly gets his Dad involved, thinks he's been doubled crossed by girl who approached him in the first place, wittingly gets his dodgy mate involved, realises the girl has been a little untruthful but for the right reasons and anyway she's wearing those tight 70's nylon flares.... er, then eventually he doesn't get paid, not even his bloody expenses.

You know what, I don't mind actually, as long as it's not the Columbo with the crazy Architect guy - it's good but I've seen it a million time recently.

How about the Johnny Cash one?

Huh?

Anyone?